Autumn Fantasies Time

It is Autumn Fantasies Time

I love autumn, it makes me into this little kid that wants to go and jump into the leaves. Or take endless walks in the forest or the streets of a small quiet town. It makes me fantasize about a home. Yes, I got those autumn fantasies again, what would I give that I would get along with the faeries that could grant my wishes? But Nah, everything you have to do yourself, earn you know. How cruel!

I Kind of Want to Go to the Country!

Those of you who follow me on my social media might already know that I visited my childhood home a few weeks ago. A total meteorite crater if you ask me. What I mean… is, nothing much happens there. But God is it a paradise for introverts like me? Every time I go there, I realize how much I miss the peace and quiet.

And I don’t know what I have done to anger the Gods that much… Perhaps I haven’t been consistent with my sacrifices or wine drinking lately.  Even if I had a vision of canning a few kilograms of funnel chanterelles for the winter. All I got was a cold wind, louse flies, and disappointment. But my dear mama gave me her last can… I almost felt guilty. Emphasis on almost. I was like a magpie, my eyes glistening from the glimpse of shinies… But the shiny was fried chanterelles…


A part of me wants to live in a forest cabin alone, growing my own food and buying meat/fish from locals. I would have cats and chickens and a few goats. Perhaps the forest faeries would be more generous with me if they heard my screamy-screamy music collection on full blast and saw me dancing barefoot in my garden. Also as off-grid as possible. Perhaps bathe in rainwater on summer evenings.

Hey now!!! At least I would have carrots and lettuce.

The other part of me, well… It loves small towns such as Viljandi, Kuressaare, and Kärdla. I live in Viljandi actually but not in the old town part. Oh God, how I would love to live in the old wooden houses… my very own little apartment with a wooden stove. Take walks every night… to the store… to get wine… and write away in a tiny space. 

But truly, I love the place, there is a big lake, enough forest parks to escape to… Even by the lake, there are a few private spots… and let’s not start with the castle ruins you know… My favorite place to take walks at…

There are a lot of festivals like Viljandi Pärimusmuusika also known as Viljandi Folk. Or the guitar festival that I attended a few days ago. It was really cool btw, by an experience of Jazz, an orchestra consisting of guitars (Yup, there indeed was a dude playing electric guitar with a violin bow), and more.  

I would be happy both ways

I am the kind of a lady that occasionally wants to go and drink with a friend or two. Not getting hammered but like, have a wine… or tea… walk in the woods or museums or art galleries. Oh, I would love that (Anyone wanna be friends? I have cookies, weird humor, and outbursts of energy in between a calm, shy persona). So I wouldn’t mind the city if there is enough of things to do for people like me… And places to disappear to as if others didn’t exist.

Really!!! Does it Mean I am Weird?

So… Yeh… I don’t care which ones of my fantasies would fulfill as long as… as long as I would have a cozy place to come home to. I like the laid-back life. Maybe even a combination of both, many apartments in the old-town “suburb” area, the ones away from medieval stone buildings… They have their garden area. That would also be nice, but the problem is, there is not as much privacy if it is a shared garden… Oh, to sit in a hammock and drink wine in pajamas reading Oscar Wilde… Uhh, that would be so nice.

I want to walk around in my pajamas, or a unicorn costume, or whatnot. And drink copious amounts of freshly ground coffee. Share my fire with my love and be silly. I live in a soviet apartment, one that is fixed up, neighbors are really nice… Considering that in this tiny apartment live two artists, one musician that if friends are over plays electric guitar quite loud… With a friend on a kahoon or a bucket…

The other one, well this one loudly recites poetry into a microphone or does harsh vocals to screamy-screamy music. Also, I dance in the middle of my room and drink wine when alone. 

Three Songs am Writing this Post to

SKYND – Gary Heidnik (feat. Jonathan Davis)

Lost – Matt Wilk, Ashton Adams

Overconfidence – Tallah

Shameless Self-Promo

My whole collection of six-sentence stories, as a book, yes. Can be found here.

And my first ever Poetry book no. I Will be added here by 18.11.2022: Act I and Act II

Until then you can find it on Spotify here.

And you may subscribe to my YouTube channel as I am slowly adding lyric videos there.


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