Reading the post of my fellow blogger Pine Canvas “Struggles of the Modern Woman”. I got a sudden inspiration to write about another struggle. Juggling my hobbies and a job that sometimes requires me to be the “superwoman”.
I work as a “Senior Client Servant” an ugly translation but I am in charge of everything that goes on in a shop. When I am the only in charge person left in a shift, meaning the manager and the co-manager have left.
It is my responsibility to see to everything running and done.
That means I have to juggle many responsibilities. Keeping an eye on the cashiers, bakers, etc., and need be replace them. All the while doing the required paperwork.
Also when something is wrong (like money or inventory missing) I am responsible for that.
My shifts are long (often 12 hours) and leave me tired. Somedays I love the job, other days I feel it robs me of my time from doing things I truly desire.
the Reason for the Inspiration
As I read the post about the struggles of a modern woman. I clicked with it, sometimes my home looks like a rats’ nest. I am too tired after work to even cook, even if at work I am considered a perfectionist. But that does not make an excuse for it being that way. I am a woman, therefore I should be able to do the dishes and cleaning after work.
If I had other people coming over when my home was in the state it is in currently, I would be shamed. What kind of a woman lets that happen? And it is not because I don’t know how to cook (I worked as one) or clean. It is because I am too tired at the end of the day to even move.
Luckily my significant other is very understanding and helps me when he can, but he too has a hell of a schedule with his university and work.
With a schedule, like mine. I often feel like I give most of my time to a job that completely depletes me of any power do enjoy doing something I truly like. Even writing this blog is a sport, the only day-offs that I have had I have completely spent on this. But what about my hobbies.
What about singing and writing music or going to the gym.
It has become a state of feeling as if I am wasting a day if I just try to relax and spend time with my significant other. And if I am dealing with any of my hobbies I feel almost guilty for not exceling in my womanly duties.
Struggles of Juggling Work and Hobbies
With all the responsibilities of a modern day woman, when the hell am I supposed to deal with my hobbies? I need to go to a proper studio to record my vocals. I can not find a time that suits both me and my bf. Scheduling has become a royal pain in the ass. With him in the university and me at a job that takes more time from me than I am willing to give. I don’t even know if I will be able to finish the songs by the end of the summer.
And the gym, I just like to load up on responsibilities eh? I come from work with every joint in my body screaming that they need rest and then I go spinning/Zumba/body-pump. Masochistic, maybe, but I know I need to workout to make myself feel a little better.
It does feel as if I am juggling work an hobbies, trying not to drop even one of them.
I Need the Job
The hard cold reality is that I need the job. Not only because of the money, but the world has made me feel as if unemployed people are not worthy. I am on disability but that coin doesn’t even pay for the rental. And even if I were to work half-time together with the disability, it would hardly pay the bills. Let alone let me buy music or gear for making music.
Sometimes I think how ironic it is that I am working to be able to spend on my hobbies and then I end up not having as much time for them as I want.
I should be grateful that I make more than the minimum-wage. But every thing keeps getting more and more expensive. It is a constant sacrifice I am making in order to survive and be able to afford things, that I care about.
But I truly feel that it has robbed me of the dedication for things I love doing. I feel like a slave that is not supposed to think of anything else than her job and paying bills and be happy when she can afford wine at the end of a day.
But I refuse to believe that that is all there is to life so I willingly deprive myself of sleep.
Just so that I would have more hours a day to do something I care about.