Effects of Bullying & Reasons for Bullying

the effects of bullying and the reasons for bullying

I am a firm believer that most people are, by heart, good. Yes, sometimes they do things they might not be proud of. Things that hurt others around them, things they want to shove under a rug and forget, and things that can burn holes in their persona too. In brief, this post is about the reasons for bullying and the effects of bullying on the victim. These effects are still felt. Almost 15 years later in my life.

As much as I have analyzed the topic in my head… I can’t speak for everyone and I am not with a psychology degree. Therefore I rely on my own experiences. Please read, if you are mentally in a good place and feel strong enough. Because this post can be triggering. But it is… a part of my life.

Playing as I edit: Gojira – Magma (whole album)

Continue reading “Effects of Bullying & Reasons for Bullying”

Master of Escapism – a Short Story

 

Master of Escapism album ar. A lady with her hair full of butterflies that represent dreams.

Master of Escapism – a Short Story – Lyric Video

Master of Escapism is one of my personal favorites that I have ever written. It is a short story that is not as much of a fiction as others, it is about me and about the feelings that I have had ever since I was a kid. Maybe that is also why the theme is a stardust based one, the first video that I also used a background sound on. 

Continue reading “Master of Escapism – a Short Story”

Life as it is

Life as it is. A lot of changes in my daily routines, the way I live, the way I want to live. Being scared to take the leap. What if it all fails. Oh, the endless cycle of fear of trying and the endless turmoil of living the life I was living. How did I get here, into this blog of mine. And where am I now, where am I going. I don’t know, fully. But I have an idea.

Continue reading “Life as it is”

Creative Writings

Sharing My Creative Writings

Throughout my life, there have been many things that I have wanted to do. But mostly I have been kept back by my insecurities and anxiety. I truly am, what one would call “my own worst enemy”. I have always wanted to sing and share my creative writings with other people or start a new blog. Perhaps it just was not the time for me, until now.

Continue reading “Creative Writings”

Suicide Gone Wrong – the Aftermath

To help someone understand Suicide

I have never written about my suicide attempt publicly or discussed it with those closest to me. Perhaps I should have, maybe it would have made healing a little bit faster. For both, me and my loved ones. Just make it clear… it had nothing to do with the people around me. It had everything to do with the things I buried within myself. To the eyes of others, everything seemed to be fine. It was a direct effect of the depression that I was fighting alone, not because I had to but because I chose to.

Am truly lucky to have survived and I have my loved ones to thank for that.

Continue reading “Suicide Gone Wrong – the Aftermath”

What Has Anxiety Given Me

What has anxiety and coming through a panic attack given me

What is Anxiety?

I could dedicate a whole book to all the things that my anxiety disorder and the aftermath of a panic attack have taken from me. But the subject of what has it given me, other than being a wallflower, is a hard one. I have always tried to look for the good in the bad. Maybe it is a way of survival or just plain denial that something is wrong. Not necessarily saying that it is a good thing after all the suffering it causes. Or that the anxiety symptoms are easy to deal with.

But I wonder, is there something it has given me, other than the endless doubt and shaking from the fear. Is there something that I have learned from it? Have I grown stronger, or have I become weaker? From denying myself many things I wanted to do in life.

Maybe it is the time to self-reflect and perhaps in the process of writing this post. I, myself, too. Will have more insights into the cause and the effect it has had on my life. And perhaps, someone will feel consolation in the knowledge that they are not alone.

But First, a Song to go with the post

If I had to pick a song to introduce my whole being in someone else’s words. It would be Jinjer – Wallflower. I think the whole video and the song are something I strongly feel connected to.

It is a feeling I have felt since I was a little girl.

Continue reading “What Has Anxiety Given Me”

Work And Hobbies – Juggling them

Juggling Work and Hobbies

While reading the post of my fellow blogger Pine Canvas  “Struggles of the Modern Woman”. I got a sudden inspiration to write about another struggle. Juggling work and hobbies… that sometimes requires me to be the “superwoman”. Yes, it surely it feels as if I want to rip myself into two separate halves and go about my day. As if the days are not long enough to deal with everything. But, unless it is a Catwoman… I am not really that interested. Recently, am thinking of quitting my job and fully shift my energy to my hobbies.

Am Listening to Adam Hurst – Chiaro di Luna as am editing the post

Continue reading “Work And Hobbies – Juggling them”