Another short fiction that was written by me. Here we travel into the thoughts of a single mother after a few years of her mate’s suicide. I really like this one and It is about someone I know. The circumstances were different, but I think she can find herself here. You are strong, I am here for you.
The holiday season can be stressful for anyone. Sometimes so much so that it feels as if your last patience is hanging on a thread for its’ dear life… I can only imagine what it might be like with kids, but I wouldn’t know. For me it is just “Oh God make it stop, I can’t tolerate my family for longer than x amount of time…” I love them, but it is true and I think that I am not unique in feeling like that. Still, all I can do in this post is talk about the holiday season & mental illness from my own experience.
Mainly about the Christmas and new year celebrations as these are the ones that are heavily celebrated in Estonia. And also because Christmas makes me want to pull out my hair at times. Throw a tantrum like a little kid… I just seem to have begun hating the end of the year. Why would you put up lights in November?! How can people be happy if all it does is drains their mind and their wallets? Somehow I seem to forget that not everyone thinks like me… Not everyone becomes an unstable mess with stress. So much so that they avoid events that cause it like fire.
By the way, my sister has named me the Grinch. On one glorious Christmas Eve, I will dead ass wear the costume and stomp around the room in it, seems fitting.
I am a firm believer that most people are, by heart, good. Yes, sometimes they do things they might not be proud of. Things that hurt others around them, things they want to shove under a rug and forget, and things that can burn holes in their persona too. In brief, this post is about the reasons for bullying and the effects of bullying on the victim. These effects are still felt. Almost 15 years later in my life.
As much as I have analyzed the topic in my head… I can’t speak for everyone and I am not with a psychology degree. Therefore I rely on my own experiences. Please read, if you are mentally in a good place and feel strong enough. Because this post can be triggering. But it is… a part of my life.
Playing as I edit: Gojira – Magma (whole album)
Omg, omg, omg !!! Finally, after so many years of dreaming… You know, the kind when you lay in the bed just imagining… making up worlds and places. Do people still do that? I can surely say that I have spent the majority of my life daydreaming, being told that it was in vain… But well, I can now say that I do have a poetry book.
I must confess, it is not in the format I had originally imagined it to be. Why? Because rather than traditionally publishing it to fulfill the dream. I published it on my blog and streaming services for free… Didn’t think that I would ever show my voice, so audiobooks were a surprise for me too… For so far I had only sung or recited poems into the void of my solitude. When nobody was around to judge. However… I truly, well… kind of… am happy with it.
Happy enough for the first book.
Omg, omg, omg !!! Finally, after so many years of dreaming… You know, the kind where you lay in the bed just imagining… making up worlds and places. Do people still do that? I can surely say that I have spent the majority of my life daydreaming, being told that it was in vain… But well, I can now say that I do have a poetry book.
The poems were too short to be uploaded separately… But they do tell a story in 20 of them separated into ACT I and ACT II. So to get the whole story you may want to read the other post first. Also there I talk more about the book itself.
Here, in this post…
In this act, I have focused on heartbreak and acceptance.
Playing as I edit the post for final edits: SKYND.
Lady in Between – Short Story
This short story of mine was particularly hard for me to create. All the steps of it: writing, recording, editing the audio and making an video to. I love the story but I almost as if wanted it to be done fast, I couldn’t stomach it.
Master of Escapism – a Short Story
Master of Escapism is one of my personal favorites that I have ever written. It is a short story that is not as much of a fiction as others, it is about me and about the feelings that I have had ever since I was a kid. Maybe that is also why the theme is a stardust based one, the first video that I also used a background sound on.
Pianoforte – Short Story
This is my first ever lyric video that I created. Pianoforte is the only story that I did not re-record and I really do find now on my Spotify version a lot of mistakes that I have somehow let stay in. I did re-mix and master it for the YouTube video though and even if it is not perfect, it sounds like a decent podcast now.
Am available on Streaming Services.
On YouTube, I am slowly adding playlists of music that I like and documentaries etc… As well as my writing music. I want people to know who this weird girl is that keeps writing and music is such a huge part of my life. In fact, you can almost always find me with my big headphones on. I have also updated my Ko-Fi page adding wallpapers for free, supporters, and ko-fi subscribers. Here I want to thank the one kind soul that has already subscribed to me, that is my boyfriend… But it still counts, right? Right?!
And… my first ever poetry book that comes out on 21.11.2022 is almost ready now… and the next one is in the draft state. I will add them on my blog for free read as well as onto streaming services for a listen. I will start adding the poetry a day or two before the release of my blog but the audio version will come with the release.
Take care and I hope you have a great day!
I have been away from my blog for a while, I am so sorry, truly I am. I had a lot on my plate from dealing with bipolar depression to deciding to leave my job. I am feeling a lot better now, after a rest and making myself get out of bed and do my art, not hibernate. I promised to share my audio recordings but I have, in fact, fallen short of my own words.
This is a new short story of mine that came to life from me listening to Chopin’s Nocturnes on repeat for the whole night. In no way do I say that the male character is him in this story… And I just love the word “pianoforte”, it sounds beautiful to me.
As of 14.10.2022 this story is up on different streaming platforms, remixed and mastered. Fun fact is, this is the only story I did not rerecord.
Pianoforte – a Short Story
With her fingers lightly gripping the quill, the black ink smeared on her fingers, and across the paper if I may paint her clumsiness and lack of etiquette, she tried to write him another letter. But what was there for her to write about? After all, they had never met. She had seen him once from the crowd as she watched his fingers dance across the keys of a pianoforte while clutching her mother’s hand to calm her nerves.