New Poetry Book Coming Soon

Cover art of the new poetry book on a larger scale for marketing purposes.

I am happy to announce that my new poetry book will come out on 05.02.2023. It will be available on both: this blog and as an audiobook on streaming services such as YouTube and Spotify. Am also on iTunes, Tidal, Instagram, TikTok and many other services if you find me by my name “of Stardust and the Beasts”. Follow me on those to get instant notifications when my new work comes out.

In this post I will showcase the cover art for the upcoming release and I have uploaded two short previews of the audiobook. This time they are also long enough to upload separately. In this sense it will be a bit different from my last poetry book. Last time streaming services told me it was not acceptable lengthwise (less than 60 seconds each).  So I had to upload 10 poems in one file…. UGH

Chaos in Spring “Weary Eyed”

Chaos in Spring "Weary Eyed" album cover. A foggy forest cut in half by a road (asphalt) and the title between two corner pieces.Chaos in Spring is a melodic, yet modern metal project from Estonia that consists of only two people. Weary eyed is going to be our first single in the end of this month.

All the music is produced, mixed and mastered by Kuldar Sepp (He is a genius, okay)

Lyrics and vocals are done by Reelika Pedak (It is me, hehe)

Chaos in Spring “Weary Eyed” (Promotional Cut Version)

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Holiday Season & Mental Illness

Holiday season & Mental Illness

The holiday season can be stressful for anyone. Sometimes so much so that it feels as if your last patience is hanging on a thread for its’ dear life…  I can only imagine what it might be like with kids, but I wouldn’t know. For me it is just “Oh God make it stop, I can’t tolerate my family for longer than x amount of time…” I love them, but it is true and I think that I am not unique in feeling like that. Still, all I can do in this post is talk about the holiday season & mental illness from my own experience.

Mainly about the Christmas and new year celebrations as these are the ones that are heavily celebrated in Estonia. And also because Christmas makes me want to pull out my hair at times. Throw a tantrum like a little kid…  I just seem to have begun hating the end of the year. Why would you put up lights in November?! How can people be happy if all it does is drains their mind and their wallets? Somehow I seem to forget that not everyone thinks like me… Not everyone becomes an unstable mess with stress. So much so that they avoid events that cause it like fire.

By the way, my sister has named me the Grinch. On one glorious Christmas Eve, I will dead ass wear the costume and stomp around the room in it, seems fitting.

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Effects of Bullying & Reasons for Bullying

the effects of bullying and the reasons for bullying

I am a firm believer that most people are, by heart, good. Yes, sometimes they do things they might not be proud of. Things that hurt others around them, things they want to shove under a rug and forget, and things that can burn holes in their persona too. In brief, this post is about the reasons for bullying and the effects of bullying on the victim. These effects are still felt. Almost 15 years later in my life.

As much as I have analyzed the topic in my head… I can’t speak for everyone and I am not with a psychology degree. Therefore I rely on my own experiences. Please read, if you are mentally in a good place and feel strong enough. Because this post can be triggering. But it is… a part of my life.

Playing as I edit: Gojira – Magma (whole album)

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Life as it is

Life as it is. A lot of changes in my daily routines, the way I live, the way I want to live. Being scared to take the leap. What if it all fails. Oh, the endless cycle of fear of trying and the endless turmoil of living the life I was living. How did I get here, into this blog of mine. And where am I now, where am I going. I don’t know, fully. But I have an idea.

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What I have been working on and I am on Streaming Services.

Collection of six sentence stories available to strem
Am available on Streaming Services.

My Six-Sentence Stories and short stories are available as audiobooks on streaming services, such as Spotify, YouTube, iTunes and many more, so they can be listened to separately from my blog.

On YouTube, I am slowly adding playlists of music that I like and documentaries etc… As well as my writing music. I want people to know who this weird girl is that keeps writing and music is such a huge part of my life. In fact, you can almost always find me with my big headphones on. I have also updated my Ko-Fi page adding wallpapers for free, supporters, and ko-fi subscribers. Here I want to thank the one kind soul that has already subscribed to me, that is my boyfriend… But it still counts, right? Right?!

And… my first ever poetry book that comes out on 21.11.2022 is almost ready now… and the next one is in the draft state. I will add them on my blog for free read as well as onto streaming services for a listen. I will start adding the poetry a day or two before the release of my blog but the audio version will come with the release.

Take care and I hope you have a great day! 

 

Autumn Fantasies Time

It is Autumn Fantasies Time

I love autumn, it makes me into this little kid that wants to go and jump into the leaves. Or take endless walks in the forest or the streets of a small quiet town. It makes me fantasize about a home. Yes, I got those autumn fantasies again, what would I give that I would get along with the faeries that could grant my wishes? But Nah, everything you have to do yourself, earn you know. How cruel!

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Work and Bipolar Disorder

Work an Bipolar Disorder

This post is going to be about my experiences about work and bipolar disorder, my fails and my gains. My experiences with depression and mania. Also a little look back on the weirdness of mine of which in no way am I ashamed of. Accepting your needs and illness is a long bumpy road. And fighting the strength to forgive oneself the wrongs is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

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My audio recordings.

I have been away from my blog for a while, I am so sorry, truly I am. I had a lot on my plate from dealing with bipolar depression to deciding to leave my job. I am feeling a lot better now, after a rest and making myself get out of bed and do my art, not hibernate. I promised to share my audio recordings but I have, in fact, fallen short of my own words.

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Creative Writings

Sharing My Creative Writings

Throughout my life, there have been many things that I have wanted to do. But mostly I have been kept back by my insecurities and anxiety. I truly am, what one would call “my own worst enemy”. I have always wanted to sing and share my creative writings with other people or start a new blog. Perhaps it just was not the time for me, until now.

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