In my last SSC&B entry, I may have shown just a little too much excitement about Misky stepping into the storyverse of the Six Sentence Café & Bistro…
Then, in her Six last week, she picked up the thread and responded in a way that made me go "aaaaaaaaa" in her comment section.
So, naturally, this week I am picking up her thread (the sentence we are working on is from her story).
And thus the storyverse where the Nervous Poet meets one of her favorite bloggers continues…
The weekly prompts for the sixes themselves are provided by Denise and you can access all the stories at the link-up.
the Six Sentence Café & Bistro #15
Aurelia sank into the seat at the Alcove—holding the journal as if it was the most precious thing someone could ever entrust her with—and began enacting the entry in a soft voice: "Our lives first touched half a world away and somehow kept finding one another for more than thirty-five years…"
"Oh… wowza," she exhaled before continuing: "Now there is only this chair beside his bed, and the peculiar steadiness that comes when someone you love is ill and there is nothing..."
Aurelia shifted her gaze from the journal, inhaled and played out the second version: "When someone you deeply care about is ill..."
The two writers were now in a trance from the looping of the sentence and giving each other the occasional nod—as if 'deeply care about' or 'love' or 'care about deeply' would drastically change the whole meaning of the piece.
"You know, for me 'deeply admire' works too, but isn't it personal… perhaps 'love' is the universal word for either a lover or a really fucking good friend?"
"Yeah, that is why I chose this one… anyone reading it can connect to it through however they connect to the word 'love'…"
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22 Comments
I think that “love” works best, and “deeply admire” is the second best option. I like how the two writers entered the state of trance over those two phrases. A great Six, Reelika 👍
I think so too and thank you very much!
That was good, dear Aurelia. If I’m needed (meaning the Raconteuse) going to that alcove – even only in the trance state, she will be fine.
Yes, thanks, she will be fine. Am glad you liked it and we will be here when you feel like it’s time to return… Even in the trance state…
damn!*
meta is so like those glass-blowers on tv… they keep moving and, for a moment you forget the technique, mesmerized by the thing being created
*compliment of the first water on your skill enabling your daring (fictionistically-speaking**)
** not a ‘real’ word
Thank you and yes… The act of creation is even cooler, often.
The cafe is a great place to write stories. I sometimes pause over simple phrases trying to figure out what is the best way to say something.
Yes it is… And same… And sometimes it also happens that I write and write and write and then get stuck because the thought or a thread or a word just escaped from me and I sit there staring at the document lol.
The pause to get just the right word is a beautiful moment in itself, sometimes. Love covers a multitude of not just sins, but relationships.
I sometimes sit behind the screen for like an hour… Staring at a word and changing it… Or the whole sentence…
That’s the coolest part of writing…
A Grammarly subscription might help 🙂
I had a subscription to it but truly it kind of… felt icky… I think around 23 to 24 was when I was like… No… not anymore…
Damn right you are, Reelika.
And brava for opting out of digital shrinking of your brain ( a crutch is a completely different thing from a hand offered in need)
🙈 thank you! I love digital stuff and innovation and such… I do use a lot of tools… However, I do not like when tools start thinking for themselves about MY art and doing things I don’t want them to do.
I love my weird em-dashes and usage of ellipses… Grammarly is too noisy on my screen while drafting…
My dearest Reelika — *love*. Exquisite in its simplicity, and universally understood. A well chosen word. (big hug)
My initial draft, yes I do write drafts and let them sit for a day, let them sleep overnight, and then read them fresh …anyway, initially I used the word “love” and then I moved away from it because I didn’t want people thinking that Peder (my husband of 46-years) was in hospital, bedridden and dying. My aim: avoid explaining away a friendship where two types of love exist.
I like to follow Hemingway’s Iceberg Theory (or the theory of omission) to cut what the reader instinctively already knows, but the risk of it is that clarity becomes muddied.
Thank you for playing along in the Alcove. Such fun for me to read, and a charmingly, heartfelt Six.
Thank you so much Marylin! And I too sometimes rewrite things because am scared of assumptions…
But then again, this is art. It’s literature. And love is such an amazing thing. It doesn’t always mean the man you have chosen as the husband.
And to that, Reelika, I’d say you are quite right. (smiling)
🫢 thank you!
I was wondering how you would react and waited for it, checking every few hours and then dozed off into my homework… Sorry for the late response.
What a thought-provoking piece. Love has many meanings; deep admiration, less so. As for pondering, it’s not for me. Think, write, post, done. Perhaps it should be though, I’ll think about it!
I think we all have our unique process that works for us… For me… It depends on the piece… On some I spend hours thinking about a word choice… On others I prefer it as raw as is presentable.
All we need is love, and its origins are from the groundswell of local, boots on the ground, concern (thinking globally & politically).
Yes. All we need is a little bit of love.
Thank you so much for the comment!