Holiday Season & Mental Illness

The holiday season can be stressful for anyone. Sometimes so much so that it feels as if your last patience is hanging on a thread for its’ dear life…  I can only imagine what it might be like with kids, but I wouldn’t know. For me it is just “Oh God make it stop, I can’t tolerate my family for longer than x amount of time…” I love them, but it is true and I think that I am not unique in feeling like that. Still, all I can do in this post is talk about the holiday season & mental illness from my own experience.

Mainly about the Christmas and new year celebrations as these are the ones that are heavily celebrated in Estonia. And also because Christmas makes me want to pull out my hair at times. Throw a tantrum like a little kid…  I just seem to have begun hating the end of the year. Why would you put up lights in November?! How can people be happy if all it does is drains their mind and their wallets? Somehow I seem to forget that not everyone thinks like me… Not everyone becomes an unstable mess with stress. So much so that they avoid events that cause it like fire.

By the way, my sister has named me the Grinch. On one glorious Christmas Eve, I will dead ass wear the costume and stomp around the room in it, seems fitting.

Holiday season & Mental Illness

Continue reading “Holiday Season & Mental Illness”

Effects of Bullying & Reasons for Bullying

I am a firm believer that most people are, by heart, good. Yes, sometimes they do things they might not be proud of. Things that hurt others around them, things they want to shove under a rug and forget, and things that can burn holes in their persona too. In brief, this post is about the reasons for bullying and the effects of bullying on the victim. These effects are still felt. Almost 15 years later in my life.

As much as I have analyzed the topic in my head… I can’t speak for everyone and I am not with a psychology degree. Therefore I rely on my own experiences. Please read, if you are mentally in a good place and feel strong enough. Because this post can be triggering. But it is… a part of my life.

Playing as I edit: Gojira – Magma (whole album)

Continue reading “Effects of Bullying & Reasons for Bullying”

Poetry Book no I – ACT I

Poetry book no. 1. ACT 1 Background, blue butterflies, spiders and spiderwebsOmg, omg, omg !!! Finally, after so many years of dreaming… You know, the kind when you lay in the bed just imagining… making up worlds and places. Do people still do that? I can surely say that I have spent the majority of my life daydreaming, being told that it was in vain… But well, I can now say that I do have a poetry book.

I must confess, it is not in the format I had originally imagined it to be. Why? Because rather than traditionally publishing it to fulfill the dream. I published it on my blog and streaming services for free… Didn’t think that I would ever show my voice, so audiobooks were a surprise for me too… For so far I had only sung or recited poems into the void of my solitude. When nobody was around to judge.  However… I truly, well… kind of… am happy with it.

Happy enough for the first book.

Continue reading “Poetry Book no I – ACT I”

Poetry Book no I – ACT II

Cover for the ACT II. Includes blue butterflies, spiders and spiderwebs.Omg, omg, omg !!! Finally, after so many years of dreaming… You know, the kind where you lay in the bed just imagining… making up worlds and places. Do people still do that? I can surely say that I have spent the majority of my life daydreaming, being told that it was in vain… But well, I can now say that I do have a poetry book.

The poems were too short to be uploaded separately… But they do tell a story in 20 of them separated into ACT I and ACT II. So to get the whole story you may want to read the other post first. Also there I talk more about the book itself.

Here, in this post…

In this act, I have focused on heartbreak and acceptance. 

Playing as I edit the post for final edits: SKYND.

Continue reading “Poetry Book no I – ACT II”

Lady in Between – Short Story – Lyric Video

 Lady in Between – Short Story

This short story of mine was particularly hard for me to create. All the steps of it: writing, recording, editing the audio and making an video to. I love the story but I almost as if wanted it to be done fast, I couldn’t stomach it.

Continue reading “Lady in Between – Short Story – Lyric Video”

Master of Escapism -a Short Story – Lyric Video

 

Master of Escapism – a Short Story

Master of Escapism is one of my personal favorites that I have ever written. It is a short story that is not as much of a fiction as others, it is about me and about the feelings that I have had ever since I was a kid. Maybe that is also why the theme is a stardust based one, the first video that I also used a background sound on. 

Continue reading “Master of Escapism -a Short Story – Lyric Video”

Pianoforte – Short Story – Lyric Video

Pianoforte – Short Story

This is my first ever lyric video that I created. Pianoforte is the only story that I did not re-record and I really do find now on my Spotify version a lot of mistakes that I have somehow let stay in. I did re-mix and master it for the YouTube video though and even if it is not perfect, it sounds like a decent podcast now.

Continue reading “Pianoforte – Short Story – Lyric Video”

Life as it is

Life as it is. A lot of changes in my daily routines, the way I live, the way I want to live. Being scared to take the leap. What if it all fails. Oh, the endless cycle of fear of trying and the endless turmoil of living the life I was living. How did I get here, into this blog of mine. And where am I now, where am I going. I don’t know, fully. But I have an idea.

Continue reading “Life as it is”

What I have been working on and I am on Streaming Services.

Am available on Streaming Services.

My Six-Sentence Stories and short stories are available as audiobooks on streaming services, such as Spotify, YouTube, iTunes and many more, so they can be listened to separately from my blog.

On YouTube, I am slowly adding playlists of music that I like and documentaries etc… As well as my writing music. I want people to know who this weird girl is that keeps writing and music is such a huge part of my life. In fact, you can almost always find me with my big headphones on. I have also updated my Ko-Fi page adding wallpapers for free, supporters, and ko-fi subscribers. Here I want to thank the one kind soul that has already subscribed to me, that is my boyfriend… But it still counts, right? Right?!

And… my first ever poetry book that comes out on 21.11.2022 is almost ready now… and the next one is in the draft state. I will add them on my blog for free read as well as onto streaming services for a listen. I will start adding the poetry a day or two before the release of my blog but the audio version will come with the release.

Take care and I hope you have a great day! 

Poetry book coming to streaming services as an audiobook on 21.11.2022 Collection of six sentence stories available on streaming services as an audiobook.

Autumn Fantasies Time

It is Autumn Fantasies Time

I love autumn, it makes me into this little kid that wants to go and jump into the leaves. Or take endless walks in the forest or the streets of a small quiet town. It makes me fantasize about a home. Yes, I got those autumn fantasies again, what would I give that I would get along with the faeries that could grant my wishes? But Nah, everything you have to do yourself, earn you know. How cruel!

Continue reading “Autumn Fantasies Time”