Stockholm Syndrome is a short story about a young lady that loves so hard that she forgets that she deserves to be loved just as much. It is a story that often happens in real life, we love so much that we forgive things that we never thought we would. But we know me, I have to add a sprinkle of madness into every single one of my stories. It would be boring otherwise, eh?
Elves and Fantasy is a short story about falling in love with a stranger on the train. Perhaps too often we are afraid to talk to those we admire, so we admire from afar and will never know what would have happened if we just said hello.
My poetry book no. I has been out as an audiobook since November 19 on my blog and streaming services. And still, I haven’t added the YouTube Lyric Video version to my blog. Am sorry for being so late with it… But I will do it now so it is all in one place. Also I am going to talk about the poetry itself a bit. And then I will tell you what mused it and what I wanted it to be like. How it was born? Why is it poetry of madness through unrequited love.
You can listen to it on Spotify first without the spoilers and come back and check it out here.
I searched long and hard in the corners of my psyche for what else to share on my blog besides my stories, poetry, and posts about mental health. Took my sweet time and couldn’t find anything else to write about than the music that I enjoy or the bands that have paved the road to who I am today. After this post, I want to write on topics like “Middle Eastern Vibe in Metal Music” or “Galaxies and Relaxation ” or “One Man Wonders” and such.
For the longest of time I just dreamed about making music myself but never took the bull by its’ horns. Now in the dawn of releasing my own music I thought why not write about my beloved artisans. Or how I found my way to the world of sounds. Am writing this post three days before the song of my band goes live.
Before we proceed, I must confess that I can get a little fangirly about the songs I love. Am like a little girl when it comes to music self-expression trough sounds. In this post I will talk a little bit about the backstory and about the little girl that got a little too excited over bizarre and macabre in music or movies.
I am happy to announce that my new poetry book will come out on 05.02.2023. It will be available on both: this blog and as an audiobook on streaming services such as YouTube and Spotify. Am also on iTunes, Tidal, Instagram, TikTok and many other services if you find me by my name “of Stardust and the Beasts”. Follow me on those to get instant notifications when my new work comes out.
In this post I will showcase the cover art for the upcoming release and I have uploaded two short previews of the audiobook. This time they are also long enough to upload separately. In this sense it will be a bit different from my last poetry book. Last time streaming services told me it was not acceptable lengthwise (less than 60 seconds each). So I had to upload 10 poems in one file…. UGH
This is the audiobook version of my six-sentence stories on YouTube (Lyric Videos), they were originally written for a challenge on my blog here. I am very happy that I found them for they reignited the burning desire to write stories and pushed me to do audiobooks.
If it wasn’t for the challenge I would never be here, doing what I do now. It gave me the boost I needed so please check it out… others’ stories can be found in the original posts…
Chaos in Spring is a melodic, yet modern metal project from Estonia that consists of only two people. Weary eyed is going to be our first single in the end of this month.
All the music is produced, mixed and mastered by Kuldar Sepp (He is a genius, okay)
Lyrics and vocals are done by Reelika Pedak (It is me, hehe)
Chaos in Spring “Weary Eyed” (Promotional Cut Version)
The holiday season can be stressful for anyone. Sometimes so much so that it feels as if your last patience is hanging on a thread for its’ dear life… I can only imagine what it might be like with kids, but I wouldn’t know. For me it is just “Oh God make it stop, I can’t tolerate my family for longer than x amount of time…” I love them, but it is true and I think that I am not unique in feeling like that. Still, all I can do in this post is talk about the holiday season & mental illness from my own experience.
Mainly about the Christmas and new year celebrations as these are the ones that are heavily celebrated in Estonia. And also because Christmas makes me want to pull out my hair at times. Throw a tantrum like a little kid… I just seem to have begun hating the end of the year. Why would you put up lights in November?! How can people be happy if all it does is drains their mind and their wallets? Somehow I seem to forget that not everyone thinks like me… Not everyone becomes an unstable mess with stress. So much so that they avoid events that cause it like fire.
By the way, my sister has named me the Grinch. On one glorious Christmas Eve, I will dead ass wear the costume and stomp around the room in it, seems fitting.
I am a firm believer that most people are, by heart, good. Yes, sometimes they do things they might not be proud of. Things that hurt others around them, things they want to shove under a rug and forget, and things that can burn holes in their persona too. In brief, this post is about the reasons for bullying and the effects of bullying on the victim. These effects are still felt. Almost 15 years later in my life.
As much as I have analyzed the topic in my head… I can’t speak for everyone and I am not with a psychology degree. Therefore I rely on my own experiences. Please read, if you are mentally in a good place and feel strong enough. Because this post can be triggering. But it is… a part of my life.
Playing as I edit: Gojira – Magma (whole album)
Omg, omg, omg !!! Finally, after so many years of dreaming… You know, the kind when you lay in the bed just imagining… making up worlds and places. Do people still do that? I can surely say that I have spent the majority of my life daydreaming, being told that it was in vain… But well, I can now say that I do have a poetry book.
I must confess, it is not in the format I had originally imagined it to be. Why? Because rather than traditionally publishing it to fulfill the dream. I published it on my blog and streaming services for free… Didn’t think that I would ever show my voice, so audiobooks were a surprise for me too… For so far I had only sung or recited poems into the void of my solitude. When nobody was around to judge. However… I truly, well… kind of… am happy with it.
Happy enough for the first book.