What Has Anxiety Given Me

What has anxiety and coming through a panic attack given me

What is Anxiety?

I could dedicate a whole book to all the things that my anxiety disorder and the aftermath of a panic attack have taken from me. But the subject of what has it given me, other than being a wallflower, is a hard one. I have always tried to look for the good in the bad. Maybe it is a way of survival or just plain denial that something is wrong. Not necessarily saying that it is a good thing after all the suffering it causes. Or that the anxiety symptoms are easy to deal with.

But I wonder, is there something it has given me, other than the endless doubt and shaking from the fear. Is there something that I have learned from it? Have I grown stronger, or have I become weaker? From denying myself many things I wanted to do in life.

Maybe it is the time to self-reflect and perhaps in the process of writing this post. I, myself, too. Will have more insights into the cause and the effect it has had on my life. And perhaps, someone will feel consolation in the knowledge that they are not alone.

But First, a Song to go with the post

If I had to pick a song to introduce my whole being in someone else’s words. It would be Jinjer – Wallflower. I think the whole video and the song are something I strongly feel connected to.

It is a feeling I have felt since I was a little girl.

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Work And Hobbies – Juggling them

While reading the post of my fellow blogger Pine Canvas  “Struggles of the Modern Woman”. I got a sudden inspiration to write about another struggle. Juggling work and hobbies… that sometimes requires me to be the “superwoman”. Yes, it surely it feels as if I want to rip myself into two separate halves and go about my day. As if the days are not long enough to deal with everything. But, unless it is a Catwoman… I am not really that interested. Recently, am thinking of quitting my job and fully shift my energy to my hobbies.

Juggling Work and Hobbies

Am Listening to Adam Hurst – Chiaro di Luna as am editing the post

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New Blog and a New Beginning

a new blog, a new beginning. Of poetry and music and writing stories and poems.

Hello, My name is Reelika. And I am… hopefully?!?! A young (hehe) aspiring writer from Estonia and I have been a big lover of books and music ever since I was a small cub… Hatching myself onto the hem of my mothers’ dress. Half of my life I had headphones soldered to my skull. So this. Here. Is my new blog (distant lonely applaud can be heard), It is my new beginning. And how the heck, am I self-hosted?! Wow, I still am trembling from the anticipation of writing about poetry and music. Truly. My fingers itch…  Previously I was writing poetry on Blogspot and Tumblr… Occasionally… I was writing stories too, short ones but still…

Oh well, that was as a young rebellious lady in her teens. I am like, going to be 31 this year… so that was a long-long time ago. There were a few Tumblr accounts in between but they never really got as much attention as my first one. And I liked it that way.

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