Short Story – Stockholm Syndrome

Romance and all that, short story - Stockholm Syndrome. A circle with flowers on it.Stockholm Syndrome is a short story about a young lady that loves so hard that she forgets that she deserves to be loved just as much. It is a story that often happens in real life, we love so much that we forgive things that we never thought we would. But we know me, I have to add a sprinkle of madness into every single one of my stories. It would be boring otherwise, eh?

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Music And How I Found My Way

New metal music alert: Chaos in Spring "Weary Eyed" album cover. A foggy forest cut in half by a road (asphalt) and the title between two corner pieces.I searched long and hard in the corners of my psyche for what else to share on my blog besides my stories, poetry, and posts about mental health.  Took my sweet time and couldn’t find anything else to write about than the music that I enjoy or the bands that have paved the road to who I am today. After this post, I  want to write on topics like “Middle Eastern Vibe in Metal Music” or “Galaxies and Relaxation ” or “One Man Wonders” and such.

For the longest of time I just dreamed about making music myself but never took the bull by its’ horns. Now in the dawn of releasing my own music I thought why not write about my beloved artisans. Or how I found my way to the world of sounds. Am writing this post three days before the song of my band goes live.

Before we proceed, I must confess that I can get a little fangirly about the songs I love. Am like a little girl when it comes to music self-expression trough sounds. In this post I will talk a little bit about the backstory and about the little girl that got a little too excited over bizarre and macabre in music or movies. 

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Holiday Season & Mental Illness

Holiday season & Mental Illness

The holiday season can be stressful for anyone. Sometimes so much so that it feels as if your last patience is hanging on a thread for its’ dear life…  I can only imagine what it might be like with kids, but I wouldn’t know. For me it is just “Oh God make it stop, I can’t tolerate my family for longer than x amount of time…” I love them, but it is true and I think that I am not unique in feeling like that. Still, all I can do in this post is talk about the holiday season & mental illness from my own experience.

Mainly about the Christmas and new year celebrations as these are the ones that are heavily celebrated in Estonia. And also because Christmas makes me want to pull out my hair at times. Throw a tantrum like a little kid…  I just seem to have begun hating the end of the year. Why would you put up lights in November?! How can people be happy if all it does is drains their mind and their wallets? Somehow I seem to forget that not everyone thinks like me… Not everyone becomes an unstable mess with stress. So much so that they avoid events that cause it like fire.

By the way, my sister has named me the Grinch. On one glorious Christmas Eve, I will dead ass wear the costume and stomp around the room in it, seems fitting.

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Effects of Bullying & Reasons for Bullying

the effects of bullying and the reasons for bullying

I am a firm believer that most people are, by heart, good. Yes, sometimes they do things they might not be proud of. Things that hurt others around them, things they want to shove under a rug and forget, and things that can burn holes in their persona too. In brief, this post is about the reasons for bullying and the effects of bullying on the victim. These effects are still felt. Almost 15 years later in my life.

As much as I have analyzed the topic in my head… I can’t speak for everyone and I am not with a psychology degree. Therefore I rely on my own experiences. Please read, if you are mentally in a good place and feel strong enough. Because this post can be triggering. But it is… a part of my life.

Playing as I edit: Gojira – Magma (whole album)

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Poetry Book no I – ACT II

Cover for the ACT II. Includes blue butterflies, spiders and spiderwebs.

Omg, omg, omg !!! Finally, after so many years of dreaming… You know, the kind where you lay in the bed just imagining… making up worlds and places. Do people still do that? I can surely say that I have spent the majority of my life daydreaming, being told that it was in vain… But well, I can now say that I do have a poetry book.

The poems were too short to be uploaded separately… But they do tell a story in 20 of them separated into ACT I and ACT II. So to get the whole story you may want to read the other post first. Also there I talk more about the book itself.

Here, in this post…

In this act, I have focused on heartbreak and acceptance. 

Playing as I edit the post for final edits: SKYND.

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Lady in Between – Short Story – Lyric Video

Short Story, lady in between.

Lady in Between – Short Story Lyric Video

This short story of mine was particularly hard for me to create. All the steps of it: writing, recording, editing the audio and making an video to. I love the story but I almost as if wanted it to be done fast, I couldn’t stomach it.

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Master of Escapism – a Short Story

 

Master of Escapism album ar. A lady with her hair full of butterflies that represent dreams.

Master of Escapism – a Short Story – Lyric Video

Master of Escapism is one of my personal favorites that I have ever written. It is a short story that is not as much of a fiction as others, it is about me and about the feelings that I have had ever since I was a kid. Maybe that is also why the theme is a stardust based one, the first video that I also used a background sound on. 

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Pianoforte – Short Story

Pianoforte album art, keys of a piano.

Pianoforte – Short Story – Lyric Video

This is my first ever lyric video that I created. Pianoforte is the only story that I did not re-record and I really do find now on my Spotify version a lot of mistakes that I have somehow let stay in. I did re-mix and master it for the YouTube video though and even if it is not perfect, it sounds like a decent podcast now.

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Life as it is

Life as it is. A lot of changes in my daily routines, the way I live, the way I want to live. Being scared to take the leap. What if it all fails. Oh, the endless cycle of fear of trying and the endless turmoil of living the life I was living. How did I get here, into this blog of mine. And where am I now, where am I going. I don’t know, fully. But I have an idea.

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Pianoforte – a Short Story

Pianoforte album art, keys of a piano.

This is a new short story of mine that came to life from me listening to Chopin’s Nocturnes on repeat for the whole night. In no way do I say that the male character is him in this story… And I just love the word “pianoforte”, it sounds beautiful to me. 

As of 14.10.2022 this story is up on different streaming platforms, remixed and mastered. Fun fact is, this is the only story I did not rerecord. 

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